The Lord God said, “it is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Genesis 2: 18
The book of Genesis explains how God formed the first man and woman. What I find most significant is that the very first miracle Jesus performed was at a wedding in Cana. It was at this wedding celebration where Jesus turned water into wine. The marriage of the groom was indeed a blessed union because the couple had invited Jesus to their union.
In my own marriage, I have found that inviting Jesus to be the centre of my marriage has helped me to become a better wife to my husband. God has so far used my marriage to discipline and to humble me and this has in turn helped become the wife that my husband needs. God also knows my own needs. He knows that I am far from perfect. I have strong opinions and beliefs, I am headstrong in more ways than one and I often find it difficult at times to compromise on certain issues however, when God works in me, he changes my heart and as my heart is changed, my husband’s heart is changed and this means we are able to work together simultaneously towards our common goals – growing together in love as a couple, enjoying each other’s company and raising our children the way God would want us to raise them.
How God views Marriage
God views a marriage as a blessed union, a partnership and a source of joy and companionship. More importantly, God views marriage as an extension of his love towards us – his people. In God’s eyes, marriage in it’s entirety, is a human fulfilment which he has intentionally designed for us because of his great love for us. Christ likens the relationship between himself and his people-the church to a husband and wife.
“Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives be subject to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church, His body, and is himself its saviour.
God loves the institution of Marriage
Then the Lord God made a woman out of the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man
Genesis 2: 22
When God created Eve from the rib of Adam, from that moment on, both Adam and Eve were in a marriage union. God created a desire within Adam for a wife. As a result, Adam loved Eve in a godly way. When I love my spouse the way that God intended only then am I able to love all those around me, my family, my friends and even strangers. The love that I have for my husband is intentionally meant to spread to all those around me. John 15:12 commands us to love each other the way that Christ has loved us.
God achieves his Purpose through Marriage
The book of Ruth and the story of Esther in the Bible shows how God was able to use the institution of marriage to fulfil his purpose here on earth. Firstly, God used Boaz to meet Ruth’s destiny. Ruth bore a son for Boaz ad the very son that Ruth and Boaz gave birth to was the future father of Jesse who would then become the father of the King David. Generations later, Jesus Christ would be born into the world through the same lineage of King David and would come to rescue us all from sin and death so that we could come to live with the father for all eternity.
God was able to use Esther’s marriage to King Xerxes to save the Jews who were under threat of being wiped out. It was God who divinely set up Esther and the King to meet at the king’s banquette. The King was immediatly drawn to Esther despite him having many concubines in the palace and treated Esther more favourably than the other concubines in the palace. After being informed by her cousin, Morcedai that a decree was in place to wipe out all Jews, Esther and her people, the Jews in the city of Citadel fasted for 3 days asking God to come to their rescue. Now the King had a law in place that stated that nobody was to make any special requests to him unless they were summoned by name. A period of 6 months, a year or more could pass before any concubine would be summoned by the King. If anyone went against this law, the consequence was death. After fasting, Esther made a very brave and courageous request to the King asking to have a meeting with him without being summoned. It was in this meeting that Esther finally revealed her true identity to the King after keeping it a secret for fear of being put to death. Esther also requested that the King revoke the order that all Jews in the city be killed and that he should spare her people. The King’s favour towards Esther meant that the decree of death on the Jews was revoked by the King. Not only did the King do this for Esther, but he made sure that the very person who issued out the decree, a man by the name of Haman was put to death. God used the marriage between Esther and the King to save the Jews from total annhilation.
Marriage makes us the best versions of ourselves
We all have different strengths as individuals and I have found that in my own marriage, my husband is always quick to forgive when we disagree. I often wish I could be just as quick to forgive and find myself trying to change my ways because of his patience and his forgiveness towards me.
God’s Design for Marriage
“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
God’s design for marriage is one where both individuals are dedicated to one another, ensuring that one another’s needs are always met. He wants us to pick each other up whenever any of us stumbles. If I face a struggle, it becomes my husband’s struggle too and in the same way, his struggle becomes my own. God wants to share in each other’s joys, successes, achievements, and grief. Marriage should be a source of intimacy, strength and joy for both individuals.
If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.
Lessons to be learned from Marriage
Being married has taught me how to be humble and to respect my husband. This is one of the areas where I have really struggled. It takes a heart of humility to admit when I am wrong. Thankfully I have a husband who is always patient with me.
God loves an obedient character. Esther was obedient to Morcedai when he instructed her on how to behave when she was placed in the King’s palace. Her obedience won her favour with God and the King who later chose Esther to be his wife out of all the concubines in the palace. God rewards obedience and he rewarded Esther for her obedience to him.
As a naturally impatient person, marriage has taught me to have patience and to persevere through trials. My marriage journey has taught me that tough times do not last forever. Instead tough times have made us a stronger couple and has turned us into stronger individuals. Each time we go through a tough period as a couple, we become more cemented in God’s love and who he has called us to be. I become more content and joyful about the small things in my life. I appreciate my husband more and I enjoy the privilege that comes with growing older with him each day.